I’ve been living a certain way for a long time. It goes like this…
Clothing and miscellaneous things scattered around. Bags partially unpacked. Blank walls with loosely hung wall décor. Mismatching cups, bowls, and mugs.
All signs of unrest. A life on the move. A statement that says: I’m here but I could be gone. It’s a dull headache and an internal guilt trip.
Why can’t I just settle into a space?
Why can’t I get it together?
Why can’t I just be here now?
Ever since I was four, I’ve lived on the move. Always back and forth to dad’s house then back to mom. It’s a life I’ve known forever, it’s the only life I’ve ever known. Bags unpacked and then packed again for the next move.
Feather on the run.
But success in running is all about balance. So how to balance it out? The other night I picked some lavender from the garden in front of my house. I placed a little bunch into a vase that I had thrown on a potters wheel and glazed by hand.
I cleared off the scattered knick-knacks on my dresser and made room for the lavender in the vase.
Then something happened. The world slowed down. The little homemade vase with the small little bunch of lavender made this Seattle house feel like a home.
I looked at it and smiled. It was a moment that was perfectly imperfect, just like the rest of it. All it took was a little perspective and appreciation.